If you have ever visited Italy, you can definitely agree with me that they have a high opinion about how great their meals are. And who can blame them? Their dishes really are delicious! If you thought your Italian friends boast a little too much about the kind of food they have back home, however, you probably haven’t seen anything yet!
Doubt that? Well, let’s see if you’d still think so after what comes next!
Image source: Atlas of Prejudice
Yes. You see that, right! Italy IS the only place in Europe one can find real food according to the most Italians. Any food from outside the country should be consumed at one’s own risk! And the farther the source of the food is from Italy; the more devastating the consequence could be!
And yes, devastating. Because according to the Italian Culinary Map of Europe, the farther you get from Italy, the more toxic the meals become! What nerve!
Bold claims aside below are the major types of food in Europe according to the Italians:
First-class Food (The Real Deal)
You probably already guessed it. These are meals prepared in Italy and… nowhere else. If it isn’t Italian, it doesn’t fall into this category. It could come close; it could TRY. But it would never be. That’s just how it is!
Second-class Food (The Wannabes)
These are foods that come close; some might even come REALLY close to being first-class in nature. But don’t be deceived, they are most certainly not! They might taste a bit like first-class food, but they are merely mimicking greatness.
These are the kinds of foods you’d find in the regions marked “Most Safe to Eat” on the map above.
Third-class Food (Where Despair Starts)
Now, this is where devastation starts. To put it frankly (according to the Italians at least), these meals are a disappointment! They have great Italy there to show them the way, but they STILL can’t make it to second-class level. They don’t taste as good, or maybe they do, but end up getting you fat! Imagine that.
These are the kinds of foods you’d find in the regions marked “Caution Advised” and “Fattening” on the map above.
Forth-class Food (The Disappointments)
Foods in this category (according to the Italians) are examples of what the culinary world would be like without Italy ─ completely and utterly hopeless! These foods are either completely tasteless, look like crap, are literally awful, or a combination of those three! They are the result of being located too far away from Italy, the number one source of true culinary genius, on the world map.
These are the kinds of foods you’d find in the regions marked “Literally Tasteless,” “Aesthetically Tasteless,” and “Toxic” on the map above.
So there you have it. The culinary map of Europe, according to the Italians. Do you now see that your Europian friend is probably one of the mild ones? Imagine some of those claims! Then again, who are we to judge? We probably think or various countries have the best dishes in the world too!
Do you agree or disagree with the depiction of the culinary map above?